HYUH HYUH
That’s the sound of me, Judah Ben-Hur, spurring my horses because I am a Bad Horse Man. All those other horses? Not white like mine — an obvious indication that we’re good and they’re bad. I whip them hoping to kill them. I ram them hoping, also, to kill them.
This isBen-Hur, a free video game on Xbox One. It focuses very narrowly on the signature chariot races. I wish instead to be in the leper colony. Not the one from the movie — a real life one where I don’t have to play this game.
The video I captured tells you all you need to know aboutBen-Hur. It’s a shoddy movie tie-in that’s technically functional but in no way good. The entirety of the game takes place over three chariot races. You win one and then you move onto the next. This is what the game calls a “season.” The races areslightlydifferent from one another but really hardly at all.
There is so little to say aboutBen-Hurbecause there is so little toBen-Hur. But, it’s tougher than I thought it’d be and I found myself dying often. Each of those was a little reward, asBen-Hurpauses in the chariot for a moment before being stiltedly hurdled forward to the ground. Then he just planks until the game reloads.
The upside is that it’s free. That’s the only upside, really. You candownload it hurif you want. Just don’t expect three and a half hours of entertainm–actually, I remember the 1959 film being pretty boring too. Expect exactly that.
