Guys, I owe you an apology. The other day, I wrote about afan-drivenMega Man Legendsconcept album, and I begged you all to stay on topic and not go off on a tangent about how you felt Capcom wronged you. I apologize because, right now, I’m about to become a big, honkin’ hypocrite.

Capcom has finally announced its software plans forMega Man‘s 25th anniversary.Rockman Xover(read “Rockman Crossover”) gathers heroes and villains from across the franchise’s myriad sub-series for an RPG adventure. According to the story, Dr. Wily, Sigma, and other baddies have confined all the Mega Men in a pocket of space-time, so it’s up to Drs. Light and Cossack to construct a new robot. However, you have to assemble the Mega Man yourself, in effect customizing it however you see fit.

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Oh, and it’s for iOS devices. And it’s “social.”

That’s just great. Relegate the once loftyMega Manempire to the mobile realm for its 25-year celebration. I don’t give two shits about how “valid” the iPhone is as a gaming device; the truth is that many companies still treat the platform as a dumping ground, Capcom included. From the available screens, it looks to be running on the same engine, sporting the same art style, as theinfuriatingMega Man XiOS port. Considering what a disappointing turd that was, I have zero hopes forXover.

Emio’s cover

And check it — notice the autoplay button? It’s gonna be one ofthoseRPGs, in which you can let the computer to do the grunt work while you touch yourself to farm porn videos or something. Are you kidding me?Thisis our 25th anniversary game? There better be something else in the pipeline, because this doesn’t cut the mustard. I swear to baby Jesus, it’s like Capcom wants people to hateMega Man.

Rockman Xoveris looking at an autumn release in Japan, yet I’m certain it’ll make it Stateside soon afterwards. Obviously, this is what we’ve all been waiting for. Here you go, fellas! No grand series revival or compilation discs, a laKirby’s Dream Collectionor even the Classic andXcollections on the PS2, GC, and Xbox! Nope! Have some iPhone garbage and say it tastes like Grey Poupon!

The Unova Starters in Pokemon Go.

Sam Bridges wearing purple Ludens sunglasses in Death Stranding.

Like a Dragon: The Man Who Erased His Name

silent hill transmission

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Famicom Wars Famicom Friday

Naoe, Sorin, and Jinchiro looking serious