‘Just gimme the toys, bro, and no one will get hurt!’

File this one under “news I never thought I’d hear.” The last Happy Meal rotation saw a group of toys that you all probably thought I’d never shut up about, but the next set is even stranger. Yowling children zipping around in PlayPlaces everywhere will now be toting aroundMadden 15toys. You know, super small figurines of sports figures, because those are good ideas for the kind of kids that regularly play at PlayPlaces.

These toys look hella boring, and even theLittlest Pet Shopalternatives look more interesting. And it’s not the fact that these are based on football players, either. It’s the fact that they’re just boring, nondescript figurines. Nothing dynamic. I suppose they’ll be infused with some nonsense that allows you to play with them a la McPlay Power, but this promotion is still kind of bizarre to me.

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